The End of the Beginning

The title of this blog is "The End of the Beginning" because although this is the end to this memoir and blog, I am still growing, and I hope that because of this blog others realize their potential to grow as well. I have realized through these past two years that you should enjoy every moment of your life.

I was walking with a group of friends, the other day, and they said, "I cannot wait until I have a boyfriend so that I can (insert fun activity) with him." I was really taken aback by this statement because I have spent this past year seizing every moment of my life and realizing that I do not need somebody holding my hand to see how beautiful the world around me is. I hope that because of this blog, you learn to open your eyes to the beautiful things that you have in your life, as well.

In conclusion, do not be afraid to be spontaneous. Take the long way home, and when you get home, spend 5 minutes looking at the starts that surround you. Being single is an opportunity to find yourself and become truly happy with who you are.

Trees: Clearfield, Pennsylvania

Carpe Diem; Seize the Day.

Being Even More Single

I eventually just completely stopped caring whether or not I was in a relationship because I so completely fell in love with life. I have developed quite the passion for photography, nature, and spontaneity. 

Now, I have always loved being spontaneous, but I have not always had the chance to be. One of my favorite things that I did was before I left to come to Penn State, I decided to take a trip to the beach. It was insane, the traffic was terrible, but it was beautiful.
New Jersey Shoreline

These passions did not end when I came to Penn State, either. In fact, they continued to grow. Being single and enjoying life came to be something that my friends frequently associated me with. During the summer, and to this day I can be found photographing beautiful things around campus and enjoying my surroundings.
Fourth of July Fireworks at Medlar Field, Penn State

  First Bell from Old Main, Penn State

View from Poultry Education and Research Center, Penn State

  Reading by the Eisenhower Chapel, Penn State

Outside Waring Commons, Penn State

Being Single

I had a very stressful senior year. After my boyfriend and I broke up, I started throwing myself into my work. The guys helped, but everything was really building up. I was the president of a club where I was often doing the job of 7 people. I was working 30 hours a week at a job where I would work almost every day, through heavy rushes, with 5 people, where there should be 8-11. I was accepted to Penn State, and had absolutely no idea how I was going to pay for it. My mom and dad were really struggling with work, and my household was so stressful. Everything was so hard. But then it all just got so simple.

As I said in my previous entry, these boys were so completely carefree, and I really wondered how in the heck they did it. Once we started hanging out more, though, I realized that it was because they knew how to have fun. Through them, I learned how to have my own fun, too. I figured out that there was nothing requiring me to drive straight home from work every night. I could take the long way, take a detour. There was nothing holding me back from waking up early in the morning and driving to the top of a mountain to watch the sun rise.

Once I figured these things out, life became so much better. And that was when I knew that I needed to be single and continue to pursue this feeling of complete content for who I am and what I am doing.

The boys and I ended up having a falling-out right before my high school graduation, so this is where their portion of the story ends. I do attribute a lot of my freedom and self-confidence to them though. Without them, I do not know if the door to freedom would've been opened up for me.








                 One of my favorite adventures was driving up "Tower Road" and looking out and seeing all of the lights below me. I have never seen something more beautiful in my entire life. After that, I became quite fond of taking my car up mountains and admiring the lights and the stars.

The Beginning

After my boyfriend and I broke up, I found that obviously I had all of this time to fill. At first, I was very depressed and bored, and I had a very hard time. One night, a friend from work texted me, "hey, do you want to hang out?" I, of course, wasn't doing anything, so we hung out. Fast forward a month, and I met his two best friends and the four of us were inseparable. We hung out almost every single night and late into the weekends. They were the main reason that I started to realize what I wanted in life.

The first one, was my co-worker at Wendy's. We met because one shift, our manager put us on drive-thru together, and we had the best time that they had in ages. We just worked really well as a team and became good friends after that night. His car was our primary means of transportation on all of our adventures.

The next one was probably the one that I got along with the best. He was always my go-to friend to talk to about anything and everything. The two of us hung out frequently because we just really got along. This one drove a Dodge truck. He and I usually got out of work and school at the same time, so he would pick me up from school a lot.

The last one was the sweet and quiet one. We hung out a few times because he was not much of a fan of leaving his house and going out. Consequently, it was his Ford that almost got us all stuck in a farmer's field late one night.

The three of us hung out so frequently that we adopted each others' mannerisms, and knew everything there was to know about one another. By hanging out with them, I realized that I did not have to follow the same schedule every single day. These boys were so uncaring and just did whatever they wanted, and they were so happy and stress-free.

The three guys. The one in the middle is the co-worker, the one on the right is the best friend, and the last one is the quietest one.

Preface

I had always wanted a boyfriend. When I was a sophomore in high school, in 2013, I met a boy who I really liked. He is an amazing person, and at midnight on New Year's he asked me to be his girlfriend. We dated for two years, before I broke up with him. He had absolutely nothing to do with it; in fact, we are still friends, today. I broke up with him because I was unhappy with who I was. I needed to be alone and figure out how to be happy with myself. So, we broke up. Since then, I have worked on being happy with myself and learning to appreciate my life.










My then-boyfriend and I before prom.